Tim Marks has one of the best stories in the LIFE Business. Also, he has one of the best books in Voyage of a Viking. Tim's journey from a non-people oriented person to a great leader of men and women is impressive. Orrin Woodward believes Tim is the fastest in the LIFE community to go from problem identified to problem fixed, this is due to his hunger to improve and win. Here is Tim's thoughts on people skills.
This last weekend, I was travelling up to Ontario, Canada, to deliver a speech to a large business group. My wife Amy and I decided to get a rental car in Detroit and drive the rest of the way. As we were crossing the border into Canada, the customs agent asked us the nature of our visit. I replied truthfully that we were going to a LIFE business seminar, and as the conversation progressed, I explained that we were not just attending the event.…We were the keynote speakers.
This young lady did not like my answer; in fact, she seemed downright ornery. I can’t imagine being a customs agent is a ‘fun’ job, and perhaps she hadn’t yet listened to a lot of positive attitude CDs that day. But it really seemed she had woken up on the wrong side of the bed that day. She proceeded to ask me what made me qualified to be the speaker and why an American had to give the presentation and not a Canadian! The conversation went downhill from there. She soon demanded written proof that we had been invited to speak in Canada and threatened to send us packing if we didn’t produce some sort of formal invitation. This was a serious problem because I had a thousand people counting on me to arrive and inspire their business teams!
Now, the Tim Marks of the old days would have responded very harshly when backed against the wall like this. The old Tim would have wanted to put her in her place and show her who’s boss. The old Tim would have wanted to prove that she was wrong and I was right. And the old Tim would have won the battle, lost the war, and been sent packing back to Florida! Thank goodness the (somewhat) “new and improved” Tim was at the border that day because I got to practice all the people skills I had ever learned.
First, I got to practice remaining calm. I knew that if I got my knickers in a twist, I would look and sound angry, and that wouldn’t help anything. Second, I realized she had total control over my situation, whether that seemed fair or not. So I let her be the boss. When she said, “Get me some proof,” I said “Yes, ma’am!” I agreed with her that I should have the documentation and that I would get busy finding it. I got on the phone with the TEAM office, and after much scrambling around on a Saturday afternoon, the great people at the office were able to produce sufficient documentation to calm her down. (Thanks, Kyle Nelson and Rob Hallstrand!)
Years ago, I read in an article that 88% of the reason of someone “being invited to leave” (read: getting fired from) his or her job was because of interpersonal problems…and that poor people skills are the root cause of relationship problems. Unfortunately, most of us have not read enough people skills books (or perhaps any!) to have mastered this critical ability. I remember reading Dale Carnegie’s timeless classic How to Win Friends and Influence People—probably the best people skills book ever written. It had been recommended to me by my mentor Orrin Woodward, co-author of the New York Times bestseller Launching a Leadership Revolution. It really impacted me. I remember feeling embarrassed because of my appalling lack of knowledge in this area. I was probably violating every principle in that book weekly, if not daily. I was in a managerial roll at my job as an engineer, and I wasn’t leading people; I was lording over them by intimidating and humiliating them. My nickname around the plant was “The Viking” because someone remarked once that if you needed to find Tim Marks, you just needed to follow the proverbial trail of blood and guts. I was a real jerk to my staff, and I was starting to realize it.
However, I also realized that I wasn’t stuck. I could change. I could make it a priority to become a gentler and kinder person and leader. So I dove into these sort of books and worked very hard over the years to sand off my rough edges. I still need a lot of improvement, but I am a lot better than I used to be! If I can do it, I know you can, too!
